Hidup Menjadi Seorang Perempuan INFJ
"Gue gila ya?"
"Gue mengidap penyakit gangguan jiwa ya?"
"Gue terlalu berekspektasi ya?"
"Gue terlalu bucin ya?"
"Gue terlalu baperan ya?"
"Kok gue ngerasa kayak jadi orang aneh bahkan di kalangan rekan, teman, atau circle terdekat sih?"
...dan masih banyak lagi pertanyaan-pertanyaan membingungkan tatkala gue ngerasa apa yang gue rasakan, alami, pikirkan, itu seperti tidak relatable dengan orang-orang lain, termasuk mereka-mereka yang, gue consider, sebagai orang-orang terdekat gue.
Berkali-kali sedih dan kecewa sehingga menyalahkan keadaan serta orang-orang, ternyata gue seringkali lupa bahwa gue memang diciptakan "berbeda".
Yup, masing-masing kita memang tentu diciptakan berbeda satu sama lain. Kita diciptakan dengan "spek"-nya masing-masing dan gak ada satupun manusia yang identik dengan seorang manusia lainnya.
Ketika gue menyadari bahwa gue memiliki kepribadian INFJ menurut alat ukur kepribadian yang diciptakan Myers-Briggs (MBTI), ternyata yang perlu gue lakukan adalah menerima diri gue sendiri yang memang diciptakan seperti itu; meskipun MBTI hanyalah salah satu indikator/alat pengukuran kepribadian dan bukan menjadi identitas seutuhnya dari tiap-tiap manusia. Karena manusia sekompleks itu gak sih, ygy~
Bukan salah orang lain kalau gue menemukan masa-masa di mana kok ngobrol gak nyambung, gak searah, gak sefrekuensi.
Bukan salah lingkungan dan kondisi kalo realitanya memang berbeda dengan apa yang gue ekspektasikan. Di sini gue pelan-pelan belajar bahwa memiliki karunia sebagai orang yang intuitif itu di satu sisi berguna banget, di sisi lain ya bisa aja jatuh. Gue pribadi jujur gak bisa bedain mana yang berasal dari intuisi yang tepat, dan mana yang gue lagi sok tahu.
Asli, itu gak bisa dibedain sama sekali dua-duanya.
Nah, sore ini gue lagi iseng nyari asupan bacaan di internet dengan keyword:
"living as an INFJ"
Gue bener-bener mau belajar dan cari tahu tentang kepribadian diri sendiri, sebelum gue terus-terusan menyalahi orang lain dan lingkungan yang...ya mereka juga sudah dengan apa adanya mereka. Kalau memang tidak cocok pergaulannya, interaksinya, relasinya, ya tak usah dipaksakan. Tak usah dipersalahkan.
Dan gue yakin, meski cuma 1, 2, atau 3 orang, selama gue hidup, gue pasti akan punya orang-orang yang memang dapat memahami gue seutuhnya (udah ketemu sih beberapa, mereka teman-teman semasa ngampus dulu dan senang banget masih keep in touch hingga sekarang).
So here is the article. Gue mendapat insight yang berarti dari bacaan ini, dan semoga teman-teman INFJ woman yang baca ini juga bisa dapet penguatan yang sama bahwa..."kita ini gak aneh kok, guys! Kita cuma beda kepribadian aja sama orang-orang di lingkungan sekitar kita...and that's okay~"
Happy reading! 😄
Original post by: Jenn Granneman (November 29, 2017)
The INFJ personality is thought to be the rarest of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, making up only 1-2 percent of the population. Because there are not many people in the world like them, INFJs often feel like perpetual outsiders. And, INFJs see the world in a very unique way — a way that most people can’t understand or relate to. As a result, many INFJs feel unhappy, discouraged, and even depressed.
In a society that doesn’t understand the INFJ’s way, what does this unique personality need in life to be happy? Here are 12 things.
What an INFJ Needs to Be Happy
1. A sense of purpose
INFJs will not be content with a shallow life. Simply working to pay their bills will leave them feeling empty and restless. Sure, they can do routine tasks, but they must see how they fit into the bigger picture. They can’t just punch in and punch out; in order to be happy, they must be working to help others and ultimately make the world a better place. And the world needs what INFJs have to give. There is perhaps no other type better suited to create a movement to right a wrong.
2. Meaningful conversation
Don’t let their quiet, easy-going demeanor fool you. INFJs are just waiting to dive into your inner world and learn more about what makes you tick. They want to hear the secret thoughts you’re afraid to utter. How you’re really feeling, even though you said you’re “doing fine.” INFJs love discussing personal, big-idea topics. They especially love helping other people understand their complicated, messy emotions and grow. But don’t worry, INFJs will never use your vulnerabilities against you. So, please do reveal your inner world. Without meaningful interaction, INFJs will wither.
3. A deep understanding of themselves
From a young age, INFJs are obsessed with understanding human nature. They yearn to not only know others on a deep level, but also themselves. They may turn to journaling, travel, literature, and art to further their self-knowledge. They may hop from one career to the next, “try on” different identities, or enter into relationships with people who are vastly different from them in the search for who they are. Without intimate self-knowledge, INFJs will feel lost and aimless.
4. Human contact, not social contact
INFJs are among the most social of introverts. Sometimes they are even mistaken for extroverts. However, as true introverts, they get drained by small talk and the trappings of socializing. Rather than “social” contact, INFJs need “human” contact — that is, mutual human understanding. They need people who can enter into their very private inner world. People who will listen without judging and try to see the world from the INFJ’s unique perspective — even if it’s just a glimpse. These people are hard to come by, but they are absolutely necessary to the INFJ’s happiness.
5. Alone time
INFJs often surprise the people in their lives by withdrawing from time to time. Suddenly, the INFJ has “turned off.” They have shut themselves away, alone, and can’t be bothered by anyone or anything. This is not because INFJs are antisocial. Rather, alone time is as nourishing as food and water to the INFJ. It allows them to clear away the chatter of the world and focus on their own thoughts and feelings. It gives them time to reflect on their lives and process what they’ve experienced. Without it, INFJs will feel drained, moody, and overstimulated.
INFJs do not need as much structure as SJ types like ISFJs or ESTJs. However, being a “judging” type, INFJs require some amount of routine and orderliness to function at their best. In general, they like planning ahead rather than being spontaneous, because it gives them time to prepare (both mentally and otherwise). Their plans tend to be fairly loose and flexible, however, because they are intuitives, not sensors. Think: A weekly calendar with a few things penned in, not an hour-by-hour day planner.
INFJs are not the type to just go along with the crowd. Their easy-going nature belies an ambitious, strategic, and at times, strong-willed core. They are free-thinkers who are not afraid to (quietly) go their own way. They function best when they are in control of their life, environment, priorities, and schedule.
8. An orderly environment
Similar to #6, INFJs tend to need their environments somewhat organized. They are probably not the types to alphabetize their bookshelves (attending to tiny details in their environment drains the intuitive INFJ), but they do need things generally picked up, put away, and clutter-free. INFJs tend to like minimalist environments, because too much stuff in sight can overwhelm their already busy minds.
9. An outlet for their insights
INFJs are old souls who understand human nature perhaps better than any other personality type. Sometimes they question their own sanity, because they see and understand things that others don’t. Thanks to their Introverted Intuition function, they excel at predicting what people will do, and they easily “see behind the curtain” in any given situation. Many INFJs find that sharing their insights through writing, counseling, or leadership makes them happy.
10. An outlet for their creativity
In addition to being insightful, INFJs are creative individuals who possess the gift of language. Employing metaphors and symbolism, they tend to be excellent writers, poets, and musicians. They often feel like conversation falls short of conveying their deepest ideas and feelings, so they turn to creative expression.
INFJs are deeply moved by beauty, whether it’s a masterfully designed environment, a breath-taking work of art, or a song that touches their heart. Unlike INFPs, who live a more bohemian lifestyle, INFJs crave beautiful, high-quality things. This focus on material things may seem contradictory to their spiritual, “old soul” nature, but for them, beauty is a calming, inspiring force.
12. At least one person who “gets” them
It’s not easy for other types to wrap their mind around the INFJ. INFJs are complex people with many layers. Sometimes even they don’t understand themselves. Not everyone will understand the INFJ, and unfortunately, most people won’t even try. INFJs need at least one person in their life who “gets” them — or at least makes an effort.
Note: all images credit go to its own respectfully owner on Unsplash.