A Request for Forgiveness and Freedom (Dealing with Regret & Shame)

This morning I realize that I'm on the phase of dealing-with-regrets-and-shame.

I've re-written my old story here, dan tersadar bahwa: buset, udah berapa kali cerita ini gue tulis di mana-mana? Ini ada apa? Kenapa masih aja keinget?

Isunya ternyata ya ada di efek jangka panjang itu. Efeknya membuahkan sebuah penyesalan dan rasa malu yang berkepanjangan.

Gue udah totally move on.
Udah ada yang baru juga bahkan.
Tapi justru kehadiran "yang baru" ini yang menyadarkan gue bahwa gue belum kelar dengan penyesalan dan rasa malu akibat apa yang pernah gue lakukan di masa lalu.

So, this morning I'm trying to ask God sincerely to heal and take my regrets & shame, and ask for forgiveness. I need His help to forgive myself, to forgive my failure, to forgive my stupidity.

---

Lord of Heaven & Earth, I'm ready to accept Your forgiveness
I'm ready to forgive myself
I'm ready to admit that I feel the long-term effect of regrets & shame
I'm ready to be healed by Your love
I'm ready to change my mindset, point of view, my motivation towards my male-friends, whoever they are, especially the one who've got my attention
I'm ready to be healed
I'm ready to admit that...this is my regrets; this is my shame
Please take it and make it into Your beautiful masterpiece beyond anything I could imagine
I'm truly helpless and clueless without You

Thank You, O Lord
πŸ™ŒπŸ»

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